Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Day 2

It's freaking hot here.

Sunbathing is fun, but kinda gets boring.

Got hassled at the Flea Market.

Tried an awesome chorizo sopes.

Miss Boat terribly.

Actually slept through the night.

Want to go out to Ixtapa Island but am not sure exactly how to get out there...

Can't wait to jet ski tomorrow.

Loving the food...and Happy Hour.

Monday, February 27, 2006

Day 1

Flight wasn't bad, but we got in too early to check into our room.

Drank a Corona at 10:45 a.m.

Had some awesome guacamole and a lime margarita the size of my head.

Took a walk on the beach.

Found out how much the jet skis cost. (Yesss...)

Just woke up from a two hour nap...which normally I wouldn't condone, but I've been awake since 3:30 a.m.

More later...

Sunday, February 26, 2006

I'm Leaving On A Jet Plane

Unfortunately, I DO know when I'll be back again.

But at least it's not for 5 days.

I'm not sure if I'll be able to update while I'm gone, so this might be my last post for awhile.

I had a fun weekend...hung out with friends, ate good food, did some more shopping. I found a bathing suit I can live with (AKA wear in public), though I wasn't thrilled with the price. I also found a really cute dress at Target.

In about an hour I'm going to bed, yes, 8 p.m. I have to wake up at 3:30 for my ride to the airport (flight's at 6 a.m.).

I've been waiting SO LONG for this trip...almost a year now. I'm really looking forward to the warm weather and just having a break from Chicago.

Have a great week and I'll be in touch soon.

Hasta luego...

Friday, February 24, 2006

"Rock Star" For A Night

Besides karaoke, the last time I got up to perform in front of an audience who paid to see the show was back in college, when I starred in play.

In probably the only real review I have ever received, my co-star was given high praise while I got mediocre nods.

I think I've always been someone who enjoyed the spotlight. My major in college was radio (so much for THAT), I've sang in choirs, and even an a cappella group. Probably the only thing I didn't like were piano recitals because I never practiced.

I enjoy public speaking and really got into school projects that included presentations, speeches or memorization. I recited the pre-amble of the constitution in front of our vice-president in elementary school. I memorized a soliloquy from Romeo & Juliet for my freshman year English class. I read the "I Have A Dream" speech by heart for extra credit my senior year, along with doing the morning announcements with two of my classmates.

Yet these were only small, easily forgotten, moments of "fame".

On Thursday, March 9th, I've been given the opportunity to sing a few songs I've been working on with a guitarist off and on for over the past year and a half. It's his CD release party, presented by an independent label run by a friend of mine. There will be opening acts and such, and I'm merely a special guest.

But still, I'm really excited, nervous, and thrilled to have this chance. And yeah, I'm stressed about what I'm going to wear.

Whatever happens (hopefully nothing that includes me forgetting lyrics or some other form of public humiliation), this is finally fulfilling a real dream of mine, probably one of the only dreams I've ever really had (besides finding the perfect man).

It's not even a blimp on most people's radar. But that's not what this is about. It's about being given a chance to get up on stage and sing.

I couldn't be more happy.

Need Some Vacation Advice

OK readers, I need your advice on some things...please, comment away!

1) What is your favorite lip balm/chapstick? My lips are super dry and peel-y (GROSS!) and I'm in need of a serious fix. I don't care if it's medicated or not cutesy, just something that's going to work!

2) What type of sunglasses (shape and color) are timeless, and not trendy? Every year I buy a new pair that end up either breaking, looking really stupid on me, or only being "in" that particular year. Brands? Stores I should shop at? BTW, my face is small-ish and round.

3) Is it really worth it buy a tankini when the only sun you'll get is on the thin strip that peaks out from your lower abdomen? Is it just totally not cool to wear a one piece on the beach?

4) What is your favorite way to spend your time on a longish flight (besides sleeping and reading)?

5) Pina colada or margarita?

Thursday, February 23, 2006

11:09 a.m.

Boat: I hope you're having a nice day off.

Michael: Hachi Kitchen was good. I loved the decor (very "new" smelling), sushi was very fresh and delicious and the prices were decent.

Confession: I'm ordering Jimmy John's with the girls upstairs. So much for flipping that switch.

Positive Thinking: In less than five days, I will be in Mexico, drink in hand, lounging at the pool, and NOT WORKING.

Purchases: birthday present for my cousin's son, sunscreen, travel sized contact solution and maybe a bathing suit

Eat Two and Call Me In The Morning

I hate to say it, but when I'm stressed or depressed, I eat to make myself feel better.

The good thing is, I must not be TOO stressed or depressed, otherwise I'd be topping out at 200 pounds right now.

Either way, it's not a good solution to my problems, yet such an easy thing to default to.

This morning has been hell, so for a pick me up, I had a blueberry muffin from Au Bon Pain.

I'm not really looking forward to the rest of the day and wish I could go out for lunch too.

I know I shouldn't. Especially since I've eaten out for dinner twice and saving money and calories really does do a body good.

Yet something inside of me has already crossed over to the other side by purchasing the muffin (oh yeah, and the scone yesterday).

I don't know exactly what flips the switch, but I'm trying to flip it back.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

For Love or For Money

My co-worker has one foot out the door and will be letting his potential future employer know if he'll take the job on Friday.

I'm upset about this on all different levels, but it got me thinking about working in general.

I don't know why I'm still in the profession I'm in. It's probably a combination of laziness and lack of confidence. As much as I desire a career makeover, I don't know what I want do, so that makes the transition pretty difficult.

I wonder how much of a pay cut I would take for a job I could potentially love. I'm more curious what that job would actually be.

For doing what I do and the industry I'm in, I'm a make a pretty decent salary. It's certainly more than I anticipated when I first got started and I've exceeded certain five/ten year plans I roughly had in my head.

Still, I'm fairly unhappy and unsatisfied by my job as a whole, yet continue to do it and have for more than four years now.

I know it's never too late to make a change. You'd think I'd lead by my own example with my plans to move out of Chicago.

I've thought about applying to different positions and trying to use my experience to segue into a new field.

It's just not as easy as I wish it was.

Could This Week Go Any SLOWER?

It probably doesn't help that last week and the week before I had Monday off.

Still, I was convinced it was Wednesday yesterday. I hate when that happens.

Last night I enjoyed a Girls Only Dinner at a Moraccan place in Wicker Park. I'm kicking myself for not ordering the couscous dish, but my tajine was still very good. Our waiter, who may or may have been the manager, was super nice, serving us a complimentary appetizer of lentils and pita bread and mint tea after our meal.

I was a little sad that we were the only ones in there and I'm hoping business is better on the weekends.

Tonight I'm checking out a new-ish sushi restaurant in Logan Square. I'm not a huge sushi person, but I do enjoy it from time to time and so rarely have it, so I'm looking forward to it.

Work has been unbearably boring, yet the thought of having phone calls and actual work is equally unappealing. I guess it's better to be busy because at least the time goes faster.

I'm trying to work on this afghan, but I'll be starting over for the fourth time today. I just can't seem to get the pattern right. I think it's because of the 81 stitches casted on. I know that's not a lot, but it's been awhile since I've had anything more than 50. Plus, the yarn is so bulky, it's been hard to decipher what's what. Anyway, I'm hoping to get it right this time around.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Running Interference

Both Boat's mom and my mom have mentioned more than once that they would like to meet one another, AKA, The Meeting of The Parents.

It almost happened back in December because his parents were in town and mine were in the city, but it fell through when mine ended up going back home earlier than expected.

Since we've been planning this move, my mom said she'd like to have his parents' contact information, ya know, just in case. I told her we were trying to arrange a little meeting whenever his parents came into town next.

I've thought about this moment and overall, I feel confident that it'll go OK. I don't think either pair is overly anything, though I'm a little worried my dad might do his thing where he talks and doesn't listen.

Mothers are judgemental, fathers are more aloof, and all around, for whatever reason, the scenario is a little nerve-racking.

Basically, there's no way to control another person. I can't get my parents to act the way I want them to or make sure they say "all of the right things".

I guess all I can hope is that they walk away with only positive things to say.

Thank God For Old Email Addresses

Sometimes I peruse Classmates.com to see what my old high school "friends" have been up to. A lot of them are married or have kids. It's funny to see what's become of them in the past nine years.

You can sign up for their Gold account and message people, but I'm not interested in that part of it. The people I wanted to keep in touch with, I have. I still have friends who have tidbits of gossip for me every once in awhile, so that's enough.

I always said if there was one person I could track down, it would be my college freshman year roommate, Tamara. Of all the people I could have been paired up with at Grand Valley State University, she was the perfect person. We were sort of the oddballs on our floor.

Anyway, I've always regretted that we didn't keep in close touch. The last contact I had with her was back in 2002. I don't know if I deleted her message, but I didn't have a current email address for her and I hadn't been in touch with her ex-boyfriend from college in that same amount of time.

Well, she emailed me this morning and I am just so excited to have heard from her. I know it won't take long to catch each other up, but it will still be nice to know where her life has taken her. It's interesting how a conversation goes after not seeing someone for years. We lived together our sophomore year in an apartment with two other girls. One of them moved to Chicago and we've hung out a few times. It's amazing how a few years gets lumped into a thirty minute dialogue. It's easy to pare down the details when they don't know your friends or what's really been going on in your life.

I'm glad I still check email at the old address!

I Forgot

Boat reminded me that we also watched "Spellbound".

Again, I'd definitely recommend it.

I'm a pretty good speller, but I don't think I would have made it very far at the National Spelling Bee.

Monday, February 20, 2006

Recap

-I bowled really well on Friday, posting probably one of my highest series yet, a 645. As much as Boat is happy for me, I still called my parents to tell them, since I knew my dad would appreciate it. It was also nice to bring home some cash...which as I mentioned earlier is now gone.

-Saturday I headed to the Knitting Workshop on Lincoln where I picked up a set of new circular needles to work on my afghan and a skein of yarn to make a hat. Unfortunately the pattern calls for pailletes (large sequins with a threading hole large enough to pass yarn through), but they didn't have any and neither did JoAnn's. I'm kind of bummed I won't be able to start it until I find some.

-The girl that is subletting my apartment finally called and said she'd be here this Saturday for sure, so hopefully we'll be exchanging keys and I can finally feel like this is all resolved.

-Boat picked a really awesome Mexican restaurant on Sheridan just north of Argyle called Rique's for dinner. We shared "Queso con Chorizo", which was this really great melted cheese appetizer. He had two steak tacos, a pork taco and a tamale. I had a huarache with steak, a fish taco and red rice and beans. The rice and beans were really good, lots of flavor. I would definitely go back there.

-We had a $10 gift certificate to Baker's Square from my mom and used it on an Oreo pie. I feel like I'm ingesting straight fat and sugar with each bite, but it's SO GOOD.

-Last night when I got back from shopping we watched "Me & You & Everyone We Know". It was great...really funny and quirky. I'd highly recommend it.

Uh

Oh.

Yesterday I went shopping at Chelsea Premuim Outlets in Aurora and spent...a little too much.

My saving grace was that I won a decent amount of money over the past two weeks at bowling, but I still went over budget.

It was a lot of fun shopping for the trip/summer. I picked up three really cute skirts, two pairs of capris (AKA, floods on me), three tops, two pairs of sandals and some other miscellaneous items, like a pair of Reeboks I've had my eye on for over a year.

I spent most of my time in the Banana Republic, but also perused BCBG and Guess, even though neither are really my "style".

Shopping is such a weird mixture of guilt and pleasure, I can only associate it with eating. Sometimes I'm not sure which is a worse problem to have.

I put everything into my suitcase for Mexico, even though I'm not leaving for a week. It's pretty easy to pack for 88 degree weather when it's below freezing here.

Friday, February 17, 2006

Nervousness Increasing

A couple of weeks ago, the management company that runs my apartment called to say someone applied to sublet my place.

Since it's a sublet, I'm essentially her "landlord", even though she'll pay rent to them.

I spoke with her on the phone and we discussed when I'd move out and the money situation (deposit/rent). I told her I could be out by the 18th of this month and she could move in early, since the rent has already been paid.

She said she'd call to arrange for me to give the keys to her friend who lives across the street from my place.

The whole thing is very informal. I actually printed out a sublet agreement off the computer for her to sign, just so I have something in writing saying she's going to pay the rent every month.

I haven't heard from her yet and tomorrow is supposedly the move in date. I'm afraid since we last talked she could have changed her mind, and without anything in writing, she has every right to do that.

I'm going to call her this afternoon to make sure everything is still in order, but I'm nervous. I was so excited when this all happened, just thinking of all the money I could save and being able to pay my dad back for the money I borrowed to take this trip to Mexico.

I just really hope this all works out.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

I Just Don't Follow Through

Last night I tried formatting my old computer so I could give it away, either to a school or charity, or something.

But for whatever reason, it wasn't working. I didn't try as hard as I could have to find a solution and instead decided I would have Boat open up the hardrive and destroy the disk. The rest of it will go in the trash.

I had planned on going to a yarn shop to start a new project, but felt deflated and laid in bed instead.

A friend mentioned the Knitting Olympics: start a new project and finish it in 16 days. I had all of the supplies to start on an afghan I plan on making my uncle and when the needles were too short, I gave up and didn't even attempt to buy the appropriate size so I could keep working on it.

I quit the YMCA after three weeks.

I'm totally half-assing my diet.

Basically, I feel like a complete failure. I have all of these grand ideas and I can't come through on any of them. This is the story of my life, but it's coming from someone who hasn't had to try very hard to get by.

School? A breeze. I wasn't a straight A student, but it wasn't hard to get A's and B's. Work? I did it to appease my parents, but I never saved a dime. Sports? I wish I had practiced more, asked for lessons, and just had a better attitude about them in general. Music? I quit piano when I was sixteen after playing for eleven years. I also gave up on violin and cello and quit choir my senior year. Theater? After not being cast in the fall play senior year by the new director (who actually took drama seriously and was trying to reform the process), I walked away bitter, turning down the part when it was offered to me after someone else had dropped out. Radio? Never pursued it. I even sabatoged my own interview at WBBM when I was a little too honest about having a career in broadcasting. Writing? I didn't bother to make something of it. I thought about graduate school several times, but never applied.

Not to say that I would have been some kind of dynamic person had I gone after even ONE of these dreams. Truth be told, I didn't have dreams. I didn't recognize my talent or my ability to try and make something of myself.

So now every task is forgettable, easily left unfinished. Every idea crashes and burns, sometimes before it even becomes an actual thing. I have nothing to show considering all of the potential I had in so many different areas of the arts. All of my natural ability has been utterly wasted.

I sing in the shower. I write a blog. I bet money on a Friday night bowling league.

I'm like that washed up old person who's constantly saying "back when I was young...".

I hate myself for this. I hate that no one pushed me harder, that *I* didn't push myself harder. I hate that I gave up so early in the game. I hate that I didn't recognize all of the opportunity and support I had growing up, that I didn't take advantage of any of it.

I hate that I didn't try my best and that I've never been at my best.

It's like I'm getting by with the smallest amount of effort.

What a sad way to live.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

1-800-WE-SUCK

Yesterday I didn't expect anything to arrive at work. Not flowers. Not a gift. Not a gorilla carrying balloons.

Why? Because Boat has never sent me flowers before, he's always just given them to me in person.

It was actually nice not to hope for something I thought I was going to get that I wasn't going to end up getting.

So I was really surprised at 3 p.m. yesterday when he sent me an email to ask if I had received any flowers.

I didn't really understand so I wrote back "was I supposed to get flowers"?

Yes, I indeed was supposed to get flowers and 1800FLOWERS was supposed to deliver them. Well, one of their florists were supposed to.

He tried calling them several times to see what was going on. I figured I'd be getting them today, which was fine. It was something to look forward to after the holiday.

He finally got through this afternoon and they told him they'd try to get them out today or tomorrow. He asked them for a refund instead and they obliged.

As happy as I am that they gave him back his money, I can't help but feel disappointed that the flowers aren't coming. Maybe I sound lame for saying it, but there's something about a package showing up to work that makes me happy. It's like showing off without actually doing any of the showing off.

Again, I know I shouldn't care about such foolish, petty things.

But I kinda do.

Thanks, Dad

For the second year in a row, my dad has helped Boat and I out with our trip to NYC. Last year he got us plane tickets AND a hotel room using points he's redeemed over the years.

This year we were able to book a room at the Intercontinental in Midtown for four nights, all courtesy of my dad.

I am so thankful and happy for this and wish there was something I could do to make him equally appreciative.

Even if we had stayed at a hostel, this is saving us at the very least, $400, which is huge since every penny counts.

And it's nice to know that at the end of the day, we'll have a really nice place to come back to and rest.

My unrealistic hope is that we find something on day one and spend the rest of our time enjoying ourselves in the city.

At Least One of Us Will Be Healthy

I've been lecturing Boat to buy Salem cat food that doesn't have meat by-product as its main ingredient. I know it's tempting to buy the cheaper stuff and the cat really does like it, but I came across some all natural cat food at Trader Joe's that I thought we'd try since the price was decent.

As happy as I was to bring home the little can of tuna for cats, I think Salem is pretty pissed about it.

Instead of running towards it like he does for turkey and cheese in gravy, he smells it, walks away and sometimes even sits and stares at me, as if to say "are you kidding me with this stuff?"?

I suppose we should have started on the healthy chow early, but it's a first time pet owners mistake.

Boat suggested we give him a little bit of both, so maybe that will be the compromise.

I just don't want to confuse the poor guy.

Either way, sometimes I wish I was at the mercy of someone else who would force me to eat right.

A Perfect Little Evening

Boat and I had dinner at a cute little French Bistro last night.

The food was great, the prices were right, and the company was top notch.

I enjoyed a roasted chicken dish, which came in a mushroom sauce, topped with the most amazing onion frites.

Boat chowed on steak frites.

And we both shared a half entree of the most delicious macaroni and cheese ever. EVER.

We decided to skip dessert, even though the warm tart and profiteroles sounded delightful and instead, drove to Dairy Queeen for Blizzards. YESSS!

Then we went home and watched the Bulls (lose).

Even though the flowers he sent me never showed up, I'm still happy he thought of it.

I love any exuse to go to my favorite card shop (Paper Doll) and try a new restaurant.

But Valentine's Day is officially over, so no heart earrings today.

I swear.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Ohhh, I Fugged UP

I went to a buffet on Sunday.

And not just any buffet.

No my friend, this was the MOTHER of all Chinese buffets and I did not hold back.

My co-conspirators helped me strategize, since it was my first time there, my induction, if you will. They warned me against the fried appetizers or rice as a first choice. They told me to stake out the crab legs and the tiny custard pies.

I ate plate fulls of battered chicken, battered shrimp and crab rangoon. I tried tofu and halibut and lo mein. I sampled the kalbi and the pineapple smoothie and helped myself to some soft serve.

I even committed the huge foul of sipping on a Sprite, even though my New Year's resolution was no regular soda for a year. Yeah, so much for that!

So yeah, I fugged up. Badly.

Happy Valentine's Day

Ever since I can remember I used to think a miracle was going to take place on this day. Finally, some secret admirer or long time crush would come out from hiding and send me a special Valentine.

I searched through endless cards in elementary school, trying to read into every message, every "You're the BEST, Valentine!" or see if some extra note had been written.

I waited for a carnation love-gram in high school.

I sat at the reception desk of many a job hoping a bouquet would arrive with my name on it.

To no avail.

And so now that I have a Valentine, I'm going to be happy about it, OK? No, I'm not going to rub it in anyone's face, but I'm not going to pretend that I'm not looking forward to our dinner out tonight and I'm not going to lie and say I didn't wear heart earrings to work today.

I did, OK?

So shut up.

So So Sorry

I tried desperately to post yesterday, but Boat's internet wasn't working and I called in sick, so there you have it.

Trust me, it felt really weird not being able to email or do other random web type things. Sad, really.

Anyway, it was an uneventful sick day. I ran some errands and watched Grizzly Man.

It was just one of those mornings when you wake up and think "I just can't do this today". So I didn't.

The bad thing is, my co-worker did the same thing, so my boss was here alone, probably wondering if we conspired against him.

Friday, February 10, 2006

It Creeps Me Out

We finished the fourth disc of Unsolved Mysteries: Bizarre Murders last night.

I was fairly creeped out by the end of it.

Just the idea of cases being "unsolved" is unsettling. But I can't stand the stories where someone goes missing and their body shows up later and no one knows how or why they died.

These things happen! Kidnapping, missing persons, killers who bury bodies in the concrete basements of their own homes...it's not fiction!

This coming from a person who worries they'll be driving along somewhere alone, choke on a piece of gum and die.

Yeah, I actually do think things like this.

Wasn't Feeling It

I skipped swimming last night, and I only feel partially bad about it. Mostly because I feel like one snag will lead to my ultimate demise. And it probably will.

As soon as I talked myself out of it, I figured I could cancel my account by the 15th so not to be charged next month. OK, so I only got three weeks out of it and paid $57, but whatever.

It doesn't help that I'm PMS-y, hungry, moody, tired and just all around unmotivated.

I went home and flipped through my Lucky magazine, only to feel guilty for not even attempting to get in shape and came to the conclusion that I'm too lazy to workout. All of the models with their flat stomachs and itty bitty arms-if models aren't a true representation of the average female form, why are they everywhere?

Sure, I've seen small improvements in the way in which my clothes are fitting, but it's far from being ready for the beach.

It's true, I'm not in the mindset to make all of the sacrifices it takes to lose the kind of weight I want to. But it kind of pisses me off that for all of the donuts and pizza I've turned down, for all of the major modifications I've made to my eating habits, not much has changed in six weeks.

Fuck diets.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Mentally Checked Out

No matter what happens, even if something goes horribly awry and we don't move, I still plan on quitting this job.

The thing is, in my profession, I have it really good compared to my collegues. I have great hours, a good boss, nice co-workers and decent, if not better than decent, pay.

But now that the end is in sight, I've been in the frame of mind that I don't want to deal with any of this bullshit anymore. Any talk of things happening beyond June makes my eyes gloss over and earlobes fold shut.

My patience is at an all-time low and I spend most of my time here envisioning our new place and thinking about what kind of couch I'd like to buy.

I also envision having a totally new job, where I work from home and travel around the city taking people out to lunch. Yessss...

Seriously though, my head's not in the game anymore and I don't see it getting any better.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Things I Have Done Today (11:37 a.m.)

1) Got ready for work 15 minutes late, but skipped shaving and did make up in the car, so was not late
2) Checked my email(s), read all blogs, Friendster, Gaper's Block, LTH Forum, Chowhound's
3) Replied to emails
4) Drank spiced chai with vanilla creamer
5) Tried to figure out where I want to go for lunch (it's going to be free!)
6) Posted a question the housing forum on Craigslist
7) Ate a banana
8) Looked at apartments in NYC
9) Talked to my mom
10) Kept looking for places to go for lunch
11) Checked back on the housing forum
12) Ate oatmeal
13) Tried to get outfit ideas on Urban Outfitters
14) Looked for a skirt on Target that I think my friend would like
15) Checked my email a lot between 1 and 15
16) Talked extensively with our adminstrative assistant
17) Decided I would eat a Vesuvia Melt with tater tots if going to Bar Louie (though we probably won't)
18) Need to call some laywer in New York because my mom wants me to give the power of attorney to someone and basically fill out a living will
19) Updated my blog
20) Wished very badly that it was 4:30 and Friday

Blast To The Past

Besides wishing I could go back to Saturday afternoon and choose the steak instead of the ribs at Wildfire, there are plenty of things I would change if I could travel back in time.

One thing is college. I should have done community college for the first two years, gotten my general classes out of the way at 1/4 the cost and then transferred to a different school. I probably shouldn't have gone to Columbia either.

I should have done more internships and I definitely should have traveled abroad.

I should have had a better plan than "I want to live in Chicago" when I graduated.

So maybe I didn't have enough foresight to plan a better future for myself, but hey, you live and learn. I wouldn't have taken any of this advice back then anyway, so it really doesn't make any difference.

You have to learn things along the way, as annoying as that is, and not live in the past.

My brother is applying to graduate school and is all wigged about not getting accepted. I feel bad for him because I honestly believe he's too young to be making that kind of decision. It's wrong to ask anyone under 25 what it is they want to do with their lives, or hell, to expect someone to have an answer just because of their age.

I hope he looks back at this time, whatever the outcome, and realizes that everything worked out OK.

Just like I've had to over the years.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

One Of The Guys

I was never one of those girl girls. Instead of flirting by batting an eyelash or giggling uncontrollably, I'd punch someone in the arm, or make fun of them with brutal sarcasm.

I preferred molding myself into a sports fan, rather than bust out a mini skirt.

I asked my fair share of guys out and didn't really believe in the notion that I should wait around to for the male to make the first move.

Hanging out with some old high school friends and their college buddies sort of brought me back to that time. The thing is, yeah, guys are rude and often times big jerks. But at least they do it in front of your face, they do it without hesitation, all while stating "hey, this is me, this is who we are and how we act". Which is almost easier to take than the absolute cold-hearted, back stabbing ways of some women.

I don't think I could hangout with a group of eight dudes every weekend and I certainly don't miss those high school days, but sometimes it's fun to have a few beers with the boys and laugh at crass jokes.

Monday, February 06, 2006

So When's The Big Day?

The other day, looking at my year long wall calendar, I realized Boat and mine's 5th anniversary falls on a Saturday, a perfect day for a wedding. I went home that night and before going to sleep, tried to make him confirm we'd marry on this date, mostly as a joke, but to the point that he got a little nervous.

Over the past three days, we've had three other incidents where someone either asked us when we were getting married, or said we should. Which is just odd because no one's really mentioned it with any sort of seriousness until now.

It's interesting getting together with old high school friends, like I did last night, because the topic of discussions always turns to who got married and who's having a baby (OK, sometimes it's who's in jail). There's always the surprises, those folks you never imagined procreating.

The honest to god truth is, as interesting as that tidbit of gossip might be, I never feel bad about it, or that I should be where they're at. I'm just happy to finally say I'm normal enough to have someone in my life at all that is, yes, a person of the opposite sex, my age, employed, educated and has a good head on his shoulders.

A girl I hadn't seen in a good seven or eight years was there, and pulled up a chair to catch up. She told me she's been with the same guy for five years, and quickly said that they were getting married sometime in the future, but that it just wasn't a big deal right now and that as long as they knew they were going to be together forever, she didn't need a ring on her finger to prove it.

I understood where she was coming from, but wondered if she was so quick to say this because she thought I might judge her. I guess I was a little surprised to hear she'd been with someone that long and wasn't married yet, which annoyed me because it proves how some of this stuff is just ingrained in us.

I'm not exactly sure what this post is about, except to show how we all grow up on an invisible track, where things happen in a certain order at a certain age. We observe our peers, do as they do, and wonder what went wrong when we stray from that line.

Hopefully, we also realize that not going along with the pack all of the time can still lead to great experiences, and that things don't always have to be so linear.

A Short Week

Last night's Super Bowl Party was fun and I'm especially thankful for the day off today.

Not that I drank THAT much, but I think it all sort of caught up with me when I went to lay my head down to sleep.

As much as I wanted to take it easy today, maybe catch a movie or sit around in my pajamas, I've already thought of at least three errands I need to run and squeezing in a lap swim this afternoon. The problem is, I have to get all this in BEFORE 5, since it would be like doing all of these things after work if I don't get them down early. So much for a lazy Monday.

I definitely feel like one of those working 9-5 types who sees all the benefits of going to the grocery store or Target when no one else is around, especially in the city.

I hate how my days off turn into "something useful".

But I AM happy I got to sleep in three and a half hours!

Friday, February 03, 2006

Looking Ahead

-Macaroni and cheese with Boat
-Late lunch/Dinner with the family
-Super Bowl party
-Day off
-"Bachelor" night
-Free drinks at Matisse
-Road trip to Mitsuwa
-Valentine's Day
-Chinese New Year celebration
-Shopping

Thursday, February 02, 2006

The Thing I'll Miss Most

I've been thinking about New York a lot lately and as excited as I am about all of the newness and beginnings, I haven't thought much about everything I'll be leaving behind.

Sitting on the "L" platform last night, I realized that taking public transportation in NYC will be totally different, and that at that time on a Wednesday night, I probably wouldn't be one of few, but many.

There's so much familiarity with the neighborhoods and the streets, and just a general feeling of belonging when I think about Chicago.

I've been hanging out with people a little more, catching up and spending time with friends that I've sort of lost touch with over the last year or so. I look forward to little adventures and group outings, more so than before. I'll miss this loose network of people who are still only a phone call or email away.

But the one thing, the one person I will miss the most is my mom. Maybe that sounds cheesey, but it's true. I'll miss being a drive away from getting to spend a day with her. I'll miss being a train away from her coming into the city to meet up with me. I'll miss that connection we have built over the years, a friendship that's more than conversations over the phone, or get togethers on holidays and special occasions.

In a way, I feel a small sense of guilt to be going even further away, creating a larger divide between us, and making it harder for us to see one another. I think this because we're at the perfect time and place in life, me on the brink of 27, and her at 56, to have this kind of friendship. A place where we're not taking care of the other person, but are still young enough to do and see and enjoy.

I think once this move happens, I will make a concerted effort to put away money for a trip, just me and my mom.

Because she is truly the best thing about Illinois.

I'll Refrain

I'm a broken record. The only things I could think of to talk about were:

1) How much I hate my job
2) How hungry I am and how much I can't stand being on this diet
3) How fucked up the government is and how the budget deficit blows my mind
4) How I'm not a pretty girl, one of those who can go without make up or my hair pulled back
5) How I want a blueberry scone
6) How I'd like to call in sick tomorrow
7) How fucked up the state of the world is and wondering if I'll live to see 50
8) How I'm looking forward to the weekend and upcoming events
9) How I checked the weather in Mexico and it was 88 degrees yesterday
10) How I hungry I am

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Sometimes I Hate The Internet

I have a desk drawer filled with post-it notes that have log in ID's and passwords for over a dozen different websites.

I hate it.

I hate that I have to change them periodically and that there are all of these stupid rules about how long they can be and what number/letter/capitalization you can use and blah, blah, blah.

Seriously, if Google can track everywhere I go and this computer that I'm on right now is already keeping tabs on every keystroke, what do I care how "secret" my password is if ANYONE and EVERYONE essentially has this information?

It's stupid and I'm tired of coming with different clever, but not too clever to forget, password combinations.

Things Are Always Changing

I wish I felt as fortunate as I do right now, all of the time. Because in truth, I have plenty to be thankful for.

Recently, I met someone who works for a large company that does a majority of their work in New York. They have been extremely helpful in the past few days and have referred me, so much so, that I received a personal email from someone at the company requesting that I fax an application to them.

I know this doesn't mean anything, and the fact that I indicated I would need to give 3+ months notice to my current job and the fact that I would be relocating, could be two major blemishes that may or may not be overlooked.

The other problem is that this is a rather large change of career, even though in somewhat of a similar field. It's much more on the side of big business, marketing and sales, which I have limited experience in. I don't have an MBA, I didn't study finance or accounting or even public relations in college. All I have is my work experience to get my foot in the door.

I really hope something comes of this, even though I'm nervous and don't know exactly what I might be getting myself into by attempting to give my career a major facelift, a change I never really anticipated.

I find comfort, though, in knowing that things do change, for better or for worse, constantly. I'm sort of relieved that there isn't anything "fixed" about life.